


happiness isn't easy

by onceuponaloonatic



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: 2yeon are twice's parents, A LOT of Angst, Angst, F/F, F/M, a lot of crying, emotional breakdowns, i support jihyo and daniel though they are cute !, i was working on my other fics and then this happened, just a tiny bit of namo, the school meal club are referred to as the kids, this hurts me too, this was just a bit self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-10 22:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20143351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponaloonatic/pseuds/onceuponaloonatic
Summary: sana loves jihyo, jihyo loves daniel





	happiness isn't easy

Sana sighed and put her phone down. She wasn’t even involved, this time, but it was too much. Every single tweet she read was like a knife to the heart. Every single article was another punch to the gut. Every single comment was like a pill being forced down her throat. She couldn’t stand it anymore. But she couldn’t look away. It was so cruel. So cruel of Jihyo to not even tell her, to have her find out this way. Sana looked at her phone, lying upside down on her bed, all notifications muted, then to Jihyo’s empty bed. She remembers climbing into it, there was a large thunderstorm and Sana was scared and Jihyo happily accepted her into her covers and Jihyo's warm strong hug. That was almost a year ago now. 

Sana should have seen the signs. Jihyo had been so much happier lately. Sana had thought it was Jihyo being pleased with all their recent achievements, but now that she thought about it that was her probably subconscious denying the reality. Sana still couldn’t believe it. 

She was one of the few not called to the company when the news broke. Her, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Momo, and Tzuyu were ruled out of being involved early on after confessing to not knowing anything to their managers over text. Jihyo wasn’t the type to keep many secrets, but truthfully Sana didn’t blame Jihyo for not telling them, it was easier to keep it secret that way, the less people that knew the better. She suspected Mina didn’t know either, Mina probably still didn’t know, Sana knew Mina was taking a much needed break from her phone. Mina would have texted her by now if she knew, Mina was the only one who knew about Sana’s true feelings after all. 

Sana’s phone started ringing, she had turned off her notifications but she had forgotten that she had set it so certain people could reach her even when her phone was on silent. There were three people on that list, and her parents were two of them. 

“Jihyo…” Was the greeting Sana gave Jihyo over the phone. 

_“Hi Sana Unnie.” _Sana knew from Jihyo’s tone she had been to hell and back. Sana wanted to hug her. _“Nayeon Unnie told me to tell you she is on her way home, but I think I’m going to be stuck here for a bit longer.” _

“Okay…” Sana trailed off. “The kids and Momo went to a movie.” 

_“So your alone?” _Jihyo asked. 

“Yeah…” Sana trailed off. “You could have just texted me silly.” 

_“You weren’t answering.” _Jihyo let out a playful sigh on the other side of the line. 

“Are you okay?” Sana forced herself to ask, swallowing her emotions. 

_“I’m- I’ll be okay.”_ Jihyo answered. _“Thankfully the situation isn’t too bad.” _

“Do you love him?” Sana suddenly asked. “Sorry Sorry I-”

_“It’s okay to ask that Sana Unnie.” _Jihyo laughed. _“I do. I really do. I hope we wont be forced to break up. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I just felt like it was easier this way. To keep it a secret.” _

“I’m sure you won’t.” Sana had to fight so hard to not cry. “I’m going to go take a shower.” 

“Okay, bye Sana.” Sana didn’t even bother to say goodbye. She shouldn’t have asked that, she was so stupid. She should have expected that answer. Sana threw her phone on the ground. She didn’t even bother picking it up, in two hours the things contained on that device had broken her heart. 

Sana thinks she was doomed to fall in love with people she couldn’t have. When she was in middle school she fell in love with a girl a year older than her. It was Sana’s first crush, and she foolishly believed the girl liked her back. One day, when they were at Sana’s house, the girl talked about her new boyfriend, how sweet he was, how handsome he was. Sana had broken down crying the moment she heard the words ‘my boyfriend.’ She had been able to convince the girl it was because she was jealous that she didn’t have a boyfriend yet. 

Sana tried not to fall in love with anyone after her middle school days, building up strong walls around her heart, it was helped by how much she was training and the dating ban. Sana had tried to stop herself from falling in love again for the foreseeable future, but that didn’t stop her stupid heart. All her walls came crashing down with Jihyo. 

As Sana stood under the shower head, her heart continued to shatter. Before she knew it she was crying. Sana let herself cry, the shower would wash away her tears and she was home alone so she could let go, for the first time in awhile. She knew it was a long shot, but she had gotten her stupid hopes up, again. Sana’s brain kept running through her interactions with Jihyo, playing them like some cruel never-ending movie. 

_“Sana.” Jihyo’s eyes shone under the moonlight. It was just the two of them. Alone together. “Isn’t it pretty?” Jihyo wasn’t looking at Sana. She was looking at the Han river, in the moonlight, the lights of the city reflecting off the water. _

_“Yeah it is.” But Sana was looking directly at Jihyo._

_“Our schedule’s have been so busy lately, it’s nice to take some time for ourselves.” Jihyo giggled and Sana’s heart fluttered. _

_“Yeah it is.” Sana said again, her brain short circuiting. _

_“You said that twice.” Jihyo laughed at her. “Your stupid.” _

_“Maybe I am…” Normally Sana would argue, but her bring was more focused on the beautiful girl in front of her than her honor. Jihyo was wearing a big jacket, the type Sana wanted to borrow into and a scarf she had knitted herself. It was still quite cold out, and Sana’s own jacket may have been a bit too light for winter. Sana finally looked at the river, staring at it, using it as a distraction so Jihyo didn’t catch onto her stupid love sick staring. Sana shivered when a cold breeze blew by. _

_“Sana you need to wear thicker jackets, you can’t catch a cold.” Jihyo laughed, unwrapping her scarf and putting it around Sana. “We need you.” Sana’s heart skipped another beat when she looked at Jihyo’s smile. _

Sana collapsed to her knees, her emotion too much for her body right now. She was sobbing loudly, screaming her heart out and letting herself get it all out. Who knows when she’ll be alone again. She needed to get this out before Jihyo came home and noticed something was wrong. 

Sana continued to break, a part of her wished she had never met Jihyo in the first place. A part of her wished she had been kicked out of sixteen, her irrational brain concluding if she had never been in Twice she would have ever fallen in love with Jihyo and she would have never had to go through this pain. Twice was her dream, but these intense feelings made her wish she had never dreamed of Twice. It made her wish she had stayed in Japan, gone to high school with her friends, stay with some of them for college and make new ones. It made her wish she never even heard the name Park Jihyo. When her head started to spin she decided to get out of the shower, she didn’t know how much time she had left alone and she needed to do her emergency ‘I totally did not just have a mental breakdown’ eye care routine. Sana turned off the shower, changed into her fuzzy pajamas, and began applying moisturizer to her skin. Sana’s stuff was in a purple container, to the left of it was a pink container with products messily put everywhere and stuffed inside of it. To the right was a light orange container, all neatly placed and labeled. Sana had to stop herself from crying again. Everything that reminded her of Jihyo made her heart hurt. 

She took extra long, she was the only one home so it would be okay to take extra long in the bathroom. Once she was finally done, she put her container on the shelf above it, the one most of them couldn’t reach and Tzuyu and Jeongyeon’s stuff lived on, getting on her tiptoes to do it. 

When she opened the bathroom door, she was surprised to find Nayeon standing in front of her. 

“I heard you in the shower.” Nayeon was never the type to avoid confrontation. “What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing Unnie.” Sana stuttered. “I’m fine.” It was a weak lie. One that neither of them believed, one that Sana knew would never fool Nayeon and her perceptive skills. Nayeon was always amazing at noticing when one of them was upset. 

“Sana…” Nayeon opened her arms. “Come here.” Sana couldn’t hold herself back from Nayeon’s arms. Nayeon had the warmest hugs, Sana could never resist them. “What is it?” Sana wanted to say she was homesick but Nayeon would probably be able to see trough her lie in a heartbeat. Nayeon had seen Sana homesick enough to know what she was like when she was homesick. “What’s wrong baby girl?” Nayeon knew pet names were Sana’s weakness. 

“Nayeonie.” Sana had thought she was done crying but it was hard not to in Nayeon’s arms. She let herself feel everything in Nayeon’s arms. “I- Jihyo and Daniel.” Sana wanted to tell Nayeon. Nayeon would understnad, Nayeon would comfort her. Nayeon was safe. 

“I know I drove Jihyo to one of her dates why would that make you upset unless- oh.” Nayeon stopped midway through her sentence. “Sana I’m so sorry.” Nayeon pulled Sana closer. “Let’s go to the bedroom okay? We can talk there.” Nayeon lead Sana to their bedroom, never breaking the hug. Nayeon helped Sana onto Nayeon’s bed and pulled her even closer, striking Sana’s hair as she sobbed. “It’s going to be okay.”

“No it isn’t.” Sana denied, her voice cracking. The feeling in her heart made it feel like things were never going to be okay again.

“Not right now.” Nayeon answered. “But one day, one day you will be okay.” 

“I loved her Nayeon Unnie.” Sana finally admitted. She had never said it aloud, never allowed herself too. 

“Sana-ya…” Nayeon trailed off, pacing the ghost of a kiss on Sana’s forehead. Sana screamed into Nayeon’s chest in agony as a response. Nayeon took a deep breath and focused on comforting Sana. She didn’t say another word, she just let Sana cry herself to sleep, stroking her hair the whole time and planting occasional kisses to Sana’s forehead. Nayeon herself didn’t have much experience with heartbreak, but seeing Sana like this hurt her more than words could describe. Once Sana’s hysterical crying had calmed down enough for the girl to fall into a deep sleep Nayeon kissed Sana’s forehead once more and pulled her blankets over Sana. Nayeon replaced her body with her biggest stuffed bear, gifted to her by Momo months ago for their anniversary. Nayeon had to be quiet sneaking out of the dark room, Sana needed to rest. The door was shut quietly and Nayeon went to the living room, intending to get some water and medicine for Sana in case she woke up with a headache from her emotional breakdown. 

“So Sana likes Jihyo?” Nayeon was spooked by Jeongyeon lounging on the couch. 

“Sadly.” Nayeon answered. “She was crying for hours.” 

“Poor girl.” Jeongyeon sighed. “I told Jihyo we should have told the other girls sooner.” 

“Then this would have just happened earlier.” Nayeon nodded. “Sana really liked her Jeong.” 

“I know…” Jeongyeon sighed. “But Jihyo is happy with Daniel.” 

“I know she is, but Sana is so miserable.” Nayeon sat across from Jeongyeon on the couch. “When did you get home?” 

“Like thirty minutes ago, don’t worry Jihyo is still at the company.” Jeongyeon explained. “I’ll tell her Sana is sick and it would be best to stay at Daniel’s tonight. She’ll probably be happy to, plus with them already being exposed they have nothing to loose.” 

“Thank you.” Nayeon sighed. 

“I don’t want to tell her to just get over her feelings, but she has to, it will only hurt her more the longer she holds onto her feelings.” 

“We can talk about it together, the three of us, when Sana wakes up.” Jeongyeon nodded. “She’s asleep right?”

“She needs to stay that way. She had already broken down when I found her, and she just had a second one in my arms.” Nayeon explained. “She needs rest.” 

“I texted Momo and told her to keep the kids away from the dorm as long as she can.” Jeongyeon explained. “Don’t leave her alone for too long, she may wake up and spiral again.” 

“Okay, thank you Jeongyeon.” Nayeon sighed. “I hope Sana doesn’t get too hurt by this.” Nayeon left Jeongyeon in the living room with those words. Once she was gone, Jeongyeon let out the longest sigh. She hated to see Sana so hurt, but she loved to see Jihyo so happy. 

It was a messy situation. And Jeongyeon just hoped one day, both Sana and Jihyo could be happy. But, Jeongyeon was a realist, and she knew that day wasn’t coming soon.


End file.
